Recognize that she may not have the capacity to change. Grieve what you need to grieve.
She may be living a miserable life, but not know or have the insight to change her belief system. She’s even less likely to understand the impact of her behavior on you and others.
Thus, you have to grieve. You’re acknowledging you’re never going to have the mother-child relationship you desire with her. If your expectations change as you realize she doesn’t have the capacity to make the changes you would love, your own life may be made more calm and less chaotic. In turn this can allow you see what you can enjoy about the relationship as it exists.
4) Have compassion for yourself and look for other supportive, nurturing relationships.
Your mom has significant mental problems and yet, you may still be trying to give her the chance to love you well…
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