Abuse is a criminal offence and, by definition, abusers are criminals: they lack empathy and compassion, have deficient social skills, disregard laws, norms, contracts, and morals. You can’t negotiate with your abusive ex and you can’t strike a bargain with him. You can’t reform, cure, or recondition him. He is a threat to you, to your property, and to your dear ones. Treat him as such.
The most dangerous class of abusers is the paranoid-delusional. If your ex is one of these, he is likely to:
- Believe that you still love him (erotomania). Interpret everything you do or say – even to third parties – as “hidden messages” addressed to him and professing your undying devotion (ideas of reference).
- Confuse the physical with the emotional (regard sex as “proof” of love and be prone to rape you).
- Blame the failure of the relationship on you or on others…