Living with shadows can feel like the lot of the alienated parent, if you let it. The shadow side of the black/white split in the mind, creates one parent who is felt to be wholly good and another who is felt to be wholly bad by the child, who acts as if this split is the whole truth of their experience. When unknowing professionals encounter this, they act to reinforce the splitting, seeking evidence to uphold the child’s presentation, scrutinising the alienated parent and aligning, often unconsciously, with the parent who is the root cause of the split state of mind in the child.
The split state of mind in the child is the clue that something is very wrong in the post separation landscape. Children whose parents have made the transition from living together to living apart with a continued commitment to be parents to their children, do…
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