Health update

Due to the continue bad health of Jeremy, the admin team and his care team, will continue to manage his wordpress, Fb page in memory of Madison and his personal Facebook.

He needs to concentrate on his recovery and spending this time with his young family.

For any personal queries contact the FB page or the WordPress site directly. Do not contact his wife and children directly respect them at this time

Posted in Jeremy lynn baylis, Madison E BAylis, Melissa sue gauf, Melissa Sue Guaf, Powers missy, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

When Grief gets Complicated

Grief Forward

cgGenerally speaking, the emotional intensity of feelings of grief will recede over time. But for an estimated 10-20 percent of people, grieving continues for months or years and makes a return to normal life virtually impossible. As researchers write in Depression and Anxiety:

“Bereavement is a severe stressor that typically incites painful and debilitating symptoms of acute grief that commonly progresses to restoration of a satisfactory, if changed, life. Normally, grief does not need clinical intervention. However, sometimes acute grief can gain a foothold and become a chronic debilitating condition called complicated grief.

Moreover, the stress caused by bereavement, like other stressors, can increase the likelihood of onset or worsening of other physical or mental disorders.”

Research has shown that long-term, complicated grief activates neurons in the reward centers of your brain, possibly giving it addiction-like properties. In one study only individuals with complicated grief showed significant activation…

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Another Season. Another Holiday. When SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) and Grief Occur

Grief Forward

Grief forward SAD and grief occur

The holiday season is upon us once again. It is a time of year filled with joy, hopefulness for the New Year and remembrances of years past, going back to childhood and parents.

It is also a time of year that can be emotionally exhausting, especially if a loved one died during the last year. Combined with a vulnerability to Seasonal Affective disorder, the season and aftermath can be very difficult.

Because the season is a festive time that is marked by family renewals, a deep sense of loss and mourning can be pervasive when a loved one is missing. Normally, holidays bring with them fond reminiscences of past celebrations. The “empty chair” that was occupied by a wife, parent, other close family members and close and dear friends can often reawaken feelings of grief with renewed intensity.

In addition, there is the problem of seasonal changes that come with…

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Grief….happens upon you

Grief Forward

Grief… happens upon you, it’s bigger than you.

grief forward grief is bigger than you

There is a humility that you have to step into, where you surrender to being moved through the landscape of grief by grief itself.

And it has its own timeframe, it has its own itinerary with you, it has its own power over you, and it will come when it comes. And when it comes, it’s a bow-down. It’s a carve-out.  And it comes when it wants to, and it carves you out — it comes in the middle of the night, comes in the middle of the day, comes in the middle of a meeting, comes in the middle of a meal. 

It arrives — it’s this tremendously forceful arrival and it cannot be resisted without you suffering more… The posture that you take is you hit your knees in absolute humility and you let it rock you until it is…

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Grief Forward

So stop telling us to “get over it”.

** This post goes out to my childhood friend Sherri Poole-Bennet and my new found friend Krystle Prince Tanner. Sherri has lost both her parents and Krystle lost her father a year ago this Christmas. This is meant to inspire them, encourage them and remind them that they are not alone. Grief is unique. Don’t allow others to speak on time to heal. To reach out. Listen to your body. There is so much you learn about yourself through grief……Love Never Dies. **

Image result for stop telling me to get over my grief abstract

As i sat in our home watching my husband as he lay dying, I thought, This is the hard part. This was the part that I’d prepared my heart for, the inevitable day that we all knew was coming after Joey’s diagnosis of lung cancer 10 months prior. Every chemotherapy setback, every hospital admission, every missed family gathering…

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Rainy days

❤️Chelle’s World❤️

These rainy days have sucked. But I’ve also been stuck in my bed with the flu bc of the flu shot. I learned the value of trust. Once you have broken that, and CONTINUE to break that, you have NOTHING! It’s time I allow myself to let go. Let go of what could of been. Let go of all the memories I have held on too. I need to just take that L n move on with my life. It’s scary to think of starting something new with someone. New talks, new learning patterns, new telling of history, new everything. With how this world is I’m beyond terrified. But I have to quit holding on to what could have been and let these memories go. It’s gonna be hard to do but it’s time. It’s time to move on with my life. It’s time to maybe find someone who could…

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TikTok 11/11/21 My babies 🥺💔🕊😇🙏

❤️Chelle’s World❤️

I miss my babies 🥺🥺🥺🥺

❤️🔥 I can relate


Fr tho 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

My babies I have been so sick lately. I was hospitalized and I’m still fighting. I’m working, school is falling behind with me being so sick. And my depression is out of this world. I miss you kids so much. I miss my mom so much. I miss the feeling I had when I felt alive. I feel like I’m just here to be kicked around. To be used. To be thrown away whenever people are done with me. And it hurts so bad. I miss you kids so much. I love you so much and I hope you are doing amazing. Just know you are more loved than you could ever imagine. All I do is obsess about being able to be your mother again. I love you so much Lamia, Kaden, and Skyla. You three…

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❤️Chelle’s World❤️

We live in a world that is so cold blooded. So many innocent lives are taken, and for what? So many people suffer from mental health and addiction problems and all this world really needs is for someone to really care and love them. That’s all. But we live in a cold world. Love seems to be absent. COVID has done nothing but make people more cold hearted. Death has changed so many people. I know it has me. Death has made me realize that all I want in this world is for one person to love me. To have my children for the rest of my life by my side would be the best gift I could ever ask for. Being mentally stable and not feeling so depressed all of the time would be nice too. I have a job as a pharmacy tech now and I love it…

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❤️Chelle’s World❤️

Today I let a piece of myself go. I released it into the air. Even though it was hard, I had to let this hope die. Bc in honesty, it was slowly killing me. Hope does not make you weak but when you are hoping on the things that are not meant to be in your life, it will drain you. That is when you have faith. Faith that everything will be ok. Faith that if you let something go and it comes back to you that it is meant to be. Faith in yourself. Lil Boosie said, “when you put your faith in man, they will fail you every time!” And that is a factual statement. Today I set my heart free. I set myself down a road I am not sure how will play out. But it had to be done. Today I gave my pain to God…

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All Things Are Possible ~

CHRISTian poetry ~ by deborah ann


All things are possible,
when in God you trust
all things are promising
when you see He is just.

All things have meaning,
when in God you believe
all things have purpose
when His Spirit you receive.

All things are a blessing,
when God you obey
all things come together
when to Him you pray.

All things are attainable,
when God is your hope
all things are brighter
when He helps you to cope.

All things are achievable,
when in God you rest
all things will work out
when He does what is best.

All things work together,
when your life to Jesus you give
all things are beautiful
when He’s the reason you live!


Luke 1:37
King James Version

“For with God
nothing shall be impossible.”

Copyright 2013
Deborah Ann Belka

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An Unconscious Experience of Childhood: Why Alienation Harms Children

Karen Woodall

They build their houses with sand, and they play with empty shells. With withered leaves they weave their boats and smilingly float them on the vast deep. Children have their play on the seashore of worlds.

They know not how to swim, they know not how to cast nets. Pearl-fishers dive for pearls, merchants sail in their ships, while children gather pebbles and scatter them again. They seek not for hidden treasures, theyknow not how to cast nets.

The sea surges up with laughter, and pale gleams the smile of the sea-beach. Death-dealing waves sing meaningless ballads to the children, even like a mother while rocking her baby’s cradle. The sea plays with children, and pale gleams the smile of the sea-beach.

On the seashore of endless worlds children meet. Tempest roams in the pathless sky, ships are wrecked in the trackless water, death is abroad and children…

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