Parental Alienation on Stage in London

Karen Woodall

Wilderness is a play about parental alienation written by Kellie Smith whose experience in writing for performance is extensive and impressive.  Next month in London, the Hampstead Theatre in London will host a production of Wilderness bringing the issue of parental alienation to the London stage.

I consulted with Kellie as she began the process of writing the play and an article that I wrote about parental alienation will be used as part of the information for the audience.

To see the issue brought to life and right into mainstream consciousness is a real turning point moment because it means that not only is awareness growing about how children of divorce and separation can suffer, the label parental alienation, so long laughed at or ignored by family services in the UK, is entering popular discourse.

I began doing this work many years ago when the words parental alienation made some…

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Revenge and the people who seek it

Parental Alienation

People who are more vengeful tend to be those who are motivated by power, by authority and by the desire for status,” he says. “They don’t want to lose face.”

In his study, McKee surveyed 150 university students who answered questions about their attitudes toward revenge, authority and tradition, and group inequality. He found that the students whose answers showed a deference to authority and respect for traditions and social dominance, had the most favorable opinions about revenge and retribution.

Those personalities, McKee says, “tend to be less forgiving, less benevolent and less focused on universal-connectedness-type values.”

There’s also a cultural dimension to people’s predilection for revenge, says revenge researcher Michele Gelfand, PhD, a professor of psychology at the University of Maryland, College Park. She and her collaborators Garriy Shteynberg and Kibum Kim have found that different events trigger the revenge process in different cultures; American students feel more offended…

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The Complicated Psychology of Revenge – Association for Psychological Science

Parental Alienation

Many early psychological views toward revenge were based on the larger concept of emotional catharsis. This idea, still widely held in the popular culture, suggests that venting aggression ultimately purges it from the body. But empirical research failed to validate the theory of catharsis, and some recent work contradicts it entirely. In a 2002 paper in thePersonality and Social Psychology Bulletin, APS Fellow Brad Bushman of The Ohio State University reported higher levels of aggression in people who had supposedly vented their anger than in those who had done nothing at all.

If cathartic activity fails to dissolve hostility in general, what is to say revenge will dissolve the anger caused by one offense in particular? That doubt laid the foundation for a recent series of tests led by Kevin Carlsmith of Colgate, who conducted the research with APS Fellows and Charter Members Timothy Wilson of the University…

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The narrative of a vindictive person – Parental Alienators

Parental Alienation

Their pain is unbearable

A vindictive person has misguided pain. They feel frustrated, helpless, hurt or ignored and are unable to change their circumstances without ensuring that they affect others in the meantime. They don’t have the necessary strength inside to find better ways to handle their feelings.

Instead, they lash out and convert pain into anger and seek revenge by taking that pain out on others.

Most commonly, they want to bring others down with them. They feel by using the power of manipulation, they are able to not have to experience the misery by themselves – they can in fact bring others in. They are the core of toxic behaviour in the workplace and contrary to many stories you read, it often is someone in a team, and not the manager or leader who is usually too busy to notice what is really going on.

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The narrative of a vindictive person- They build grudges 

Parental Alienation

They build grudges

A person with a vindictive personality disorder builds grudges, stores pain points against themselves and others to justify their feelings. It’s always someone else’s fault and you will never find them in a situation where they will apologise. They don’t realise that they cannot harm others without harming themselves, and not only come unstuck in their personal lives but also in their careers.

If something doesn’t go their way, they attempt to intimidate you or manipulate you. They will throw out lines to try and scare you, and if they are in the workplace will deliberately show co-workers that they have power by deliberately not doing what their job requires, or ensuring that they are spending endless hours at lunch and via such mediums as text, messenger and skype to draw you in. They may seem to be making fun of someone at first and that may…

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The best ways to manage a vindictive person is:

Parental Alienation

  • Don’t buy into their gossip or attempts to turn you against another person
  • Encourage positivity and proactive approaches to life
  • Disengage with vindictive and negative people – they will only destroy your mojo as well as the person that is their target
  • See the signs as early as possible, and realise that there is no place in your life for people like this
  • If they say that they have done something vindictive before, stay away from them. They will most likely be a repeat offender
  • They will affect your life no matter what, so avoid at all costs.

https://www.marketingeye.com.au/marketing-blog/culture/the-narrative-of-a-vindictive-person.html

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Vindictive Narcissists | HealthyPlace

Parental Alienation

Question:

Arenarcissistsvindictive? Do they stalk and harass?

Answer:

Narcissistsare often vindictive and they often stalk and harass. Basically, there are only two ways of coping with vindictive narcissists:

I. To Frighten Them

Narcissists live in a state of constant rage, repressed aggression, envy and hatred. They firmly believe that everyone is like them. As a result, they are paranoid, suspicious, scared and erratic. Frightening the narcissist is a powerful behaviour modification tool. If sufficiently deterred – the narcissist promptly disengages, gives up everything he fought for and sometimes make amends.

To act effectively, one has to identify the vulnerabilities and susceptibilities of the narcissist and strike repeated, escalating blows at them – until the narcissist lets go and vanishes.

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Why Are Some Human Beings So Vindictive?

Parental Alienation

Have you heard of nemesis? It is the inescapable agent of someone’s or something’s downfall. An agent of natural justice… some people call it “Karma” and believe that whatever goes, comes around and you have to pay for your evil deeds.

Nemesis catches vindictive people sooner or later!

Vengefulness is a negative streak, which can only be addressed by our own inner voice. Like all negative emotions, it does hold some goodness. It acquaints us with our real self. it might lead us to introspection!

Negative emotions are very subtle and deceptive. They absorb more energy but they often walk away victorious, testing our patience and strength, ennobling us, belittling our ego, thereby transforming us into humble human beings.

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Spitefulness Scale: What Traits Make A Person More Likely To Engage In The Destructive Behavior?

Parental Alienation

They found that people with more spiteful tendencies were more likely to also show hints of callousness, Machiavellianism, poor self-esteem, aggression, and guilt-free shame. Conversely, those who were less likely to be spiteful were also more likely to feel guilt, had higher self-esteem, and were more agreeable and conscientious. Not surprisingly, they found that men were more likely to be spiteful — perhaps out of theirtendency to be more aggressiveand dominating. Young adults were also more spiteful than older ones. “You get older and you learn from experience,” Marcus said, according to CBS, “and you just may not have the energy for it.”

Their scale, the researchers wrote, will “be able to predict behavior in both laboratory settings and everyday life, contribute to the diagnosis of personality disorders… and encourage further study of this neglected, often destructive trait.”

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Afternoon Ponderings~02.14.19~

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